Secrets

I think in a way our culture is a bit messed up when it comes to secrets. We are both too closed and too open in the way we think and handle 'secrets'.



The way we are too closed is in the fact that ever since childhood we have been trained to keep things secret that don't necessarily need to be hidden. If less secrets were 'kept' then I think our culture would be a much more empathetic one. I also think that because of our 'little secret' tradition we trivialize the idea of keeping or sharing a secret.

Maybe English just needs a separate word for a little secret and a big one because when the fact that you like Jimmy and the fact that you are going through a real emotional crisis are both catergerized as the word or idea it makes it seem like protecting the secret has the same level of intemecy or importance. (sorry for the run on sentence)

Because of this issue I feel like our culture is also too open about the sharing of real secrets. There are somethings about every person that at once defines and embarrasses them. I think of these as the viscous truths that dwell within our hearts and we wish we could erase. They have changed the way we look at the world (or at least part of it) and at the same time are shameful to us. To change them would be to change the way we developed as people but to reveal them is to bare something so personal it makes our stomachs clench at the mere thought of exposing it to another person.

I don't feel like there is a word that truly captures the emotional charge behind these truths. I think that because they are also called secrets that the correct amount of reverence and respect is not always placed on them and sometimes these secrets can be traumatically be revealed because the trusted individual did not safe guard the information with enough vigilance.

There have been probably around ten times in my life that a person close to me has trusted me with one of these truths from their lives. I don't know if they know how honored I feel to be given the trust to guard that information and to be someone who can help them bare the burden of such a heavy truth. I treasure these pieces of knowledge close to my heart as it helps me understand their souls that much more and it bonds me to them in a way I can't describe. I will safe guard them and hope to understand the people better because of them.

Thank you to anyone who may be reading who has shared a burden with me. I will never betray your trust.

Carly