A Conversation That Changed The Way I Saw My Potential

Yes, I know the title of this post is a bit pretentious, but this is how I feel about the conversation I had. So here's the story:

A Damned Veranda

So I wrote a 9 page short story in 4 hours and I took it out of one of my 1 page poems. I am so excited to hear what people think about it in my fiction class. I don't want to post the story or the poem on a public blog just because I might want to publish them sometime but if ya want to read either of them feel free to email me. I am very pleased with myself though. :)

Other good news:
Evan got accepted to school with me! Yay!!!! So excited!
I didn't actually fail my German test on thursday, I got 80%
I got 103% on my Psych test!
I finally cleaned my room! (yes this is an accomplishment for me)
My flower is growing up big and strong (now that I killed the bug that was trying to eat it)

That's all for now folks!
Carly

If You Don't Have The Courage To Do It Alone, You Don't Really Have The Courage At All

Last night I went and performed at Poetry and a Beverage. This is the piece I read:

Wind Caves

Awesome day! Bradford, Hayley and I have been saying for a while that we needed to get out and do something as a group and we decided to hike to the wind caves.

Thrift Stores: For the Win!

So my friend Hayley and I decided on a whim to go to Deseret Industries today. We had wanted to do something today, I had been having a 'bum' day...I stayed in bed most of the day :) it was good though. So we hopped on a bus and headed down. I was a bit worried that we wouldn't get there in time before it closed but we had plenty of time. I love all the funny things you can find at D.I. like just random disco ball shirts :). I picked up some really good finds though. I'll show you!

Can You Hear the Prayer of the Children?

Can you hear the prayer of the children on bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room? Empty eyes with no more tears to cry turning heavenward toward the light. Crying," Jesus, help me to see the morning light of one more day, but if I should die before I wake, I pray my soul to take." Can you feel the hearts of the children aching for home, for something of their very own. Reaching hands with nothing to hold onto but hope for a better day, a better day. Crying," Jesus, help me to feel the love again in my own land, but if unknown roads lead away from home, give me loving arms, away from harm." (oooooo la la la la etc etc.) Can you hear the voice of the children softly pleading for silence in their shattered world? Angry guns preach a gospel full of hate, blood of the innocent on their hands. Crying," Jesus, help me to feel the sun again upon my face? For when darkness clears, I know you're near, bringing peace again."

Dali čujete sve dječje molitve?

Can you hear the prayer of the children?

Wow, I had this stuck in my head today and I got home and I watched this video like six times in a row. This piece is just so powerful. I want to perform this in a female a capella group sooooo bad! It makes me want to go out and do a service project right now! Mmmm so beautiful! So yeah...just wanted to share this. Wonderful!

Odd dreams and a Panic Attack

Had a really weird dream last night. I was wearing Black Milk's Leg Bones and I had a lot of very wacky adventures. I wish I could remember them I just know some people didn't like my legs and some people said they were the only leggings they like. Oh fyi: I don't even own these...and I wasn't checking them out before bed...they just got up there in my brain...odd...

Okay so last night I went to CRU which is a christian bible study night with college kids and it was really great I had a ton of fun. The silly thing is that EVERYONE and their dog was trying to get a hold of me while I was gone for this. I had my phone on silent and kept ignoring several phone calls thinking "dude! I am learning about Jesus! leave me alone!" and so apparently I caused a multiperson freak out last night. Want the whole story? Well I'll tell ya anyway.

Monday I was having a rough day and in the midst of my bad day my uncle robbie calls me to ask if I wanted some concert tickets. He could tell I wasn't feeling so happy and apparently after we got off the phone he couldn't get me out of his mind. So all of Tuesday he was ruminating on the fact that he could tell there was something wrong. So last night (while I was at Cru) he was sitting in the USU library (yes we go to the same school) and felt very strongly that he needed to talk to me. So he calls. No answer. He calls again. No answer. He comes over to my dorm. I am not there. He calls my mom. She doesn't know whats going on. She calls me. No answer. She calls again. No answer. She calls Evan. He says I had a thing that night. He hangs up and panics because now someone got him thinking there was something wrong. He calls me. No answer. My mom calls robbie back and relays what she found out. He is still panicking. My mom sends me a text: You need to call me asap.

My meeting starts wrapping up and I see a voicemail 5+ miss calls and a message that says "you need to call me asap." It freaked me out! Here I was having a spiritual moment and I missed all these calls. I thought someone had gotten in an accident. I call my mom. She tells me that robbie had felt there was something wrong with me and was freaking out. I reassure her that I am fine and call robbie. He is relieved but still feels that there might be something wrong. I reassure him that I was just at bible study and he called me in the middle of a prayer at one point. He again asks me "you wouldn't lie to me about this would you?" and I had to again tell him that I was perfectly fine and that nothing bad had happened. He believed me and let me off the phone so I could go back to mingle at CRU. Later when I talked to Evan he was pretty worked up too.

Sheesh! So much drama over little ol' me when all I am doing is getting a lesson about miracles and teachings in the new testament. It was crazy! Alright. Well thats all I've got for you right now!

Guten Morgen!
Carly

Study Abroad, Facebook and College in General

So first of all, I deactivated my Facebook. Yes I know shocking. I just felt like I needed a bit of a break from it so its gone for now (probably will be back eventually). It feels pretty good, going through a few withdrawals but hey I feel like this will be much healthier for me. I usually only wasted time on it really. The people I want to keep in contact with I have their numbers. The main thing I am missing is the black milk fan page but I could still look at it while being deactivated so I guess it works out. (probably healthier for my wallet anyway)

Okay, now onto bigger and better things! I am going to study abroad! I am very stoked. I have had a couple meetings and I have started my planning. I don't plan on going until Spring 2013 so I have plenty of time. I'll be completed with German 2010 by the time I leave and I think I will have all the money saved up by then. I did the math and to have all my funds ready to go with a little of spare time I am going to need to average $210 a month in savings. I think I can pull it off, yeah for October and maybe November I wont be able to make a ton of money but I have some saved from my financial aid that kinda counts. Once Christmas season is in full swing I might have more luck with my part time ushering job with the theater department. For now, ushering with the athletics department I get about $35 everyother week yuck, but hey its money.

I am so excited to study abroad though, with the direct transfer program that USU has set up it will be way cheaper to go and they have great support so it will be really easy to get everything squared away before I even get on the plane. I am planning on attending the University of Innsbruck in western Austria from March to July. I am not very anxious at all about it. The study abroad office takes such good care of you that its pretty simple and not too daunting. I applied for a scholarship through NSCS (national society for collegiate scholars) which I joined last month. There are also sever study abroad scholarship I am planning on applying for once the date gets closer.

In Innsbruck I will taking literature classes while enjoying my time abroad. I love how pretty Austria is, especially Innsbruck, I mean just look at it!

Ugh! So gorgeous! And Innsbruck is literally a few hours via train to Milan, Venice, Zurich or Munich! So traveling would be really easy and not too expensive. The city itself is beautiful with old archetecture and churchs combined with old squares and small family owned shops. I am very excited!

My German 1010 class is going fairly well considering that I study 2-3 hours a night. I am bound and determined to learn this language! Hopefully before I get there so I don't feel overwhelmed. Went to a tutoring session today and it helped a bit, I think I need to be more confident and I need to work on listening to German more...I wish I had some movies I could watch in German that would be very helpful. I was thinking I might buy a German-English bible so that I can practice reading comprehension more.

Speaking of the bible, I have been feeling really great about God lately (not intending to preach) and I have felt a bit sense of relief since I have started attending Alpine Church. It feels so great to be learning more about Christ and I feel much more confident in myself and in his love for me. I don't feel quite as lost now as I did before. I think it also helps that I am meeting a lot of kids my age who are really involved with CRU (crusade for Christ in college) and it helps me to see their conviction and its great to be around a group of such loving individuals. My friend Brad has in particular been very kind and understanding over the past few weeks, he is helping me learn a lot and I am vastly impressed by his knowledge of scripture. It feels great to be in this place in my life where I know who I am and I am connecting with myself and with God more.

So life is pretty good right now, by no means perfect as life always throws you a few curve balls but I feel satisfied and comfortable. Life is grand and full of endless possibilities.

Auf Wiedersehen!
Carly